So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
