All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
