the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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