i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
