If that was your dad, he is hot
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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