when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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