his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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