I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
