her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
