Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
