I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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