well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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