Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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