He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
