It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
