this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
