Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
