i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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