Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
