I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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