Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
