If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
