a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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