I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
