I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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