i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
