I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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