I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I need to stop coming to work sober
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
