It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
