we're blogging at a bar
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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