your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
