I bet he comes in French.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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