Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.

Fav 26 11696 1180
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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(706): View more from Georgia

We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where's it at?

(706): View more from Georgia

In your pants.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

Fav 15 4074 1366
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now

Fav 3 1687 876
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

Fav 10 2352 717
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(804): View more from Virginia

One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen

(1-804): View more from Virginia

summertime

Fav 3 987 533
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(562): View more from California

I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.

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