Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
