Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We smell like vodka and hangover
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
