so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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