I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
