I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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