did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
