how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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