don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize