she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
my liver is dry heaving
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
