i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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