The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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