just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
