ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
