I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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