Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
