Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
