problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
