I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
